My Business (part II)

Well I just thought I should let everyone know (since you were just dying to know. ha!) that I thought of a name! My business IS now called "Uniquely Sass". I will be selling handmade Jewelry, handmade purses, and depending on how my DIY projects go for the wedding maybe even handmade invitations, place cards, programs, etc! YAY! I'm so excited! :D

Here is my website: www.uniquelysass.com

I just started so I don't have much on it yet, hehe :P. In the future I plan on having a much nicer looking site. But for now, this shall do.

To those who personally know me

I want all of you to know that if you hear from ANYONE but myself or Tommy the "reasons" why I don't do this or that, or why I do certain things, don't pay any attention to them. Why? Because for starters who gave them permission to talk negatively about me, and because I don't ever tell people my reasons for doing or not doing something. So these people who do blurt out these "reasons" are just saying what THEY believe to be true. If you want the truth about me, ASK ME. I'm so sick of people saying wrong things about me which makes me look bad.

I just wanted to say...

I love Tommy with all my HEART! :)

Despite anything that goes wrong, he is the one person who can make it all better with a simple "I love you" or a smile. I don't know what I would do without him.

Going backwards

The feeling of hopefulness and happiness I think is officially gone. I'm so frustrated right now with EVERYTHING! I feel exactly like I did a few years ago. It's like I'm going backwards and I just want to scream....

I know this could just be a minor setback, but with how everything goes for ME I really doubt its only temporary. I don't expect life to be perfect, although that would be nice. I just wish I could be HAPPY for a longer period of time, or at the very least be able to deal better. Some people think I'm strong emotionally, but really, it's only because of how much I keep in.

I can't even verbalize how I'm feeling right now, or everything that is getting to me. I feel like I'm going to explode with everything I'm keeping in. I'm depressed, I'm angry, I'm stressed, I'm anxious, I'm panicky, I'm frustrated, I feel like a waste of space, I'm feeling basically every negative feeling known to man. OK maybe not EVERY negative feeling...but you get what I'm trying to say...

Plan for the future

Since I'm the type of person that likes to think things through and plan for the future, that's exactly what Tommy and I did during the course of our relationship. We discussed kids, money, savings, traveling, a house, cars, etc etc etc. We went over anything and everything, probably more than we really needed to go through.

Now that we're engaged going over those things are only logical. I can't seem to understand though how some engaged couples never discussed a lot of these topics. One I find to be very common is the subject on kids. They find out during the engagement that their future spouse doesn't want kids but they really do. Why was this not discussed BEFORE? Now you have a bigger problem. You love this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them. But you really want kids, always wanted to be a mother/father, would regret not having children, but can't stand the thought of loosing the love of your life. So, you decide to marry them anyways hoping you get over not having kids or hope your significant other changes their mind. More than likely your plan won't work out the way you want and you'll either end up unhappy, or divorced.

People look at me, take notice that I'm young, engaged and assume I don't take it seriously or I'm not ready. Ummm, ok. A few years ago Tommy and I had a discussion with my mom, his parents, and another married person because we were going to get married at the courthouse (long story). They spoke to us about married life, asked us questions, and to their surprise WE ACTUALLY KNEW WHAT WE WERE "GETTING OURSELVES INTO." Even though we were never married before, we still have a good understanding of what to expect because we went over just about every possible situation we would go through in our marriage without anyone talking to us about it first. It just makes sense to sometimes plan for the future, maybe not to the extent that I do, but at least a little before you get yourself so deep into something and realize you're going to sacrifice a lot of what you wanted (things that shouldn't have to be sacrificed).

Getting Married

Growing up I never thought about my "dream wedding", I never cared if I was in a relationship, or when/if I got married. I didn't want to be one of those girls who practically based her life around these normal "wants" and turn them into obsessions. I wasn't going to concern myself over dumb things like that (not saying marriage is dumb), and I certainly wasn't going to become bitter because they never happened for me (if that ended up being the case). That's just pathetic.

If someone gets married before me, good for them. It doesn't matter WHEN you get married, all that matters is if you do get married, that your marriage lasts. Maybe you need to prioritize your life better if marriage is just that important to you.

My business

Since my fiance started up his own business I have been thinking a lot of all the businesses I hope to own someday, or how we could possibly expand his in the future. I'm a big time planner even though I realize things usually don't go according to plan, its just what I do and I have fun thinking about it. Anyways, since the type of businesses I would like to own won't become a reality anytime soon (if ever) I have been thinking about the small "business" I already have, or should I say had?

When I was a freshman in high school I started designing and selling handmade jewelry. It was just something I did on the side for fun. I occasionally held "jewelry parties" and sold my items to anyone interested. Some people I knew even offered to help sell my items to people they knew. I even had "employees" (my cousins who helped "design" new things, which was paid by commission). I kept tack of EVERYTHING and was very organized, which is why I will be dealing with the money and paperwork for Tommy's business. I received a lot of compliments, orders, and was even told a few times I should rent a booth of some sort at a craft fair or sell them online. I always wanted to expand my "business" but never got around to it. Then eventually I just stopped.

Now, I'm thinking of starting it up again and actually making the business official. Business cards, a website, you name it. I want it all and Tommy is all for it and supports me 100%. Even though I'm anxious to start it up again right now, I will be waiting till after we're married when things have "cooled down" and I can devote more time to it.

Now all I need is a catchy name. Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated! :)

A new year: 2009

I have been thinking a lot about everything that's supposed to happen this year and for once I am actually hopeful and excited. The past couple of years have been a bit depressing, so a change would be nice.

2007 was horrible. I personally lost about 13 people in death. THIRTEEN! That's at least 1 funeral a month. I actually lost count because of how often someone I knew passed away. The only positive things were Tommy and I were engaged, I was able to see my best friend, and 2 weddings, 1 from each side of my family. Other than that...it was a horrible year...

2008 was a little better, nothing worth remembering but still better. Had to deal with all the first anniversaries of everyone's death which was difficult. Even now just thinking about it brings me down and gets me chocked up, especially since 1 is coming up in a few days. Only had one funeral last year, so that's a good thing I suppose. Only one, how sad is that. Less than 3 deaths a year is a good year. Wow. Developed my anxiety/panic problem which is obviously not a good thing. I think I've actually been able to figure out what has triggered it. Doesn't help much but at least I know why this is happening. Or at least I think I know. And because of this problem, I've been able to see a few people I know in a different way. I didn't think anything bad about them before but now it's just different. Ever since my "condition" has been made known to those around me, those who also have to deal with it have shown their love, concern, and compassion towards it. It helps knowing that people actually do understand and are there if I need them. So that's a plus. And also, a new baby in my family.

And now 2009. My future sister-in-law and her husband are expecting their second child! I'm very excited about that. Today she found out she's 8 weeks and due August 20Th, just in time for mine and Tommy's 5TH anniversary! A few other people we know are also expecting babies, 1 is due in a few days. Tommy and I are supposed to be getting married about a month after our anniversary, which of course we're really anxious for. A few other couples we know are also getting married this year. Tommy's business has been getting a lot of positive responses, with a lot of jobs needing to be done. So that's all good news.

So things are looking good, then again it is still only the beginning of the year. I feel like once Tommy and I are finally able to get married things will go well. Not that everything will be perfect and we won't have any problems. I know that isn't realistic thinking when it comes to marriage and life in general. But, since we've been together for so long and have to keep waiting to be married, I feel trapped. After the wedding even though I know I'll have to face other challenges, responsibilities, and have a new role in my life (a wife, business owner, future mother), I just see things being different. I'm looking forward to those things, and coming across life's problems. It's hard to explain. Its something you can't fully understand what I'm trying to say unless you're inside my head. All that really matters is I'm excited, I'm hopeful, and I'm becoming happier as time goes on. Hopefully this will be the best year yet. I can't wait.

Exciting news: My fiancé is a business owner!

Yeah that's right! My future hubby (wow, I normally hate that word yet here I am using it. I must be in a good mood) has his own business. Last week Tommy officially started it up, put up his website, and got some awesome looking business cards. He had been working towards it for a few months and now it is finally a reality. I'm still a bit skeptical about its possible progress not because I have no faith in him but because well I'm a worrier which comes with the territory of anxiety and because the economy is as we all know, down the toilet. But I am trying to ignore my feelings and be positive. That's another thing, I'm generally a negative person but I'm trying to break out of that.

So today he went out looking for potential customers. The response was great. 90% of it was positive and that was only within one city. I can't wait to see how this works out for him. Everyone seems to be impressed by his website and business cards, even those who are usually a little tactless when it comes to saying things and only put people down. So maybe my pessimistic attitude really IS all for nothing. I can only hope.

A little info on how he got into this and what his business is based on. Long story short, we know someone who owns the same type of business that Tommy is now into. When he found out that Tommy was engaged and looking for a job he offered to teach Tommy what he does so he could eventually start up his own business, basically to help him out out of the kindness of his own heart. Which is where we are now. Tommy is now an "Auto Decor Specialist." This is the first time I've ever heard of this particular title, but what he offers isn't anything new to me. It's a mobile business so Tommy will be going from auto body shops and car dealers to do a few "Decor" jobs on cars when something needs to be done that they can't do themselves or don't do well. Things like pin striping, wheel wells, blackout tape, applying decals, and stone squares. Tommy LOVES it. He says he has so much fun doing it and sometimes see some really awesome cars (muscle cars!). Apparently not many people in our area do this type of work, and the man who helped Tommy only has 3% of the auto body shops in the LA county area so everything else is basically up for grabs. The odds seem to be in our favor. Hopefully our hopes and dreams can come true when it comes to this business, and things can start going right for us. Only time will tell :)

You're really not as great as you seem to believe

Why is it that those who have no business being cocky or picky are usually the ones who are? If you're good looking or loaded with money then I can "understand" you're reasoning. It's not an attractive quality in my opinion but thats not the point I'm trying to make. For those who really have nothing going for them, what is their reasoning? To make themselves feel better? Being confident is one thing, being overly confident is a big no no in my book.

There is one person I have known forever that is such a big retard! Btw, if you're reading this pay attention because you REALLY need to hear it. Either way I'll be saying it to your face. First I'd like to start off by saying that I am the type of girl who actually doesn't care about looks. I go for the guys with the good attitudes, who can make me laugh, and are fun to be around. If he's attractive then thats a plus! Not saying an attractive guy won't catch my eye, but the guy with the right personality is what will catch my heart. Anyways, this guy is goofy looking, he tries too hard to be something he is obviously not, thinks he's a sweet talker (Just because you can get 15 year old girls to fall for you doesn't mean you have game my friend), tries to flash money that is basically petty cash, is self-righteous, talks trash with nothing backing it. He basically thinks he's gods gift to this world. Can you say looooser!

He has actually said he CAN be picky. WHAT?!? Are you serious? What has lead you to believe this? You have no friends because you act like such an idiot, you have no car because you crashed it due to bad driving (failed his driving test at least 3 times, once because he almost hit someone), people make fun of you TO YOUR FACE, you PRETEND to talk on the phone with a girl or a friend for hours, you can't even keep a dead end job making smoothies (he quit on the first day because he dropped a smoothie! and for some strange reason he thinks his new boss will make him manager.) You even started crying because your little minor girlfriend broke up with you. "But we can still be friends..." sound familiar? Think no one knew about that? Yeah, you're real gangsta. If you humbled yourself, maybe just maybe you can be in a place to be slightly picky. But until then get over yourself and see the loser that you truly are.