Thursday, February 19, 2009

I need peace

I know things almost never go according to plan. That's fine. I can work with that. But why is it that it seems like NOTHING has gone right for me these past few years? Seriously, I can think of maybe a handful of good things in my life that basically mean squat because everything else gets screwed up in one way or another. These good things are meaningless if those other things don't work out. I'm so sick of just trying to be hopeful but end up being completely disappointed all over again. I'm so sick of the same thing going wrong time after time. I'm so sick of people treating me like crap and making me feel like I'm not even wanted. I'm so sick of everything just being a let down.

These things aren't even in my control which makes it that much more frustrating. I have to just deal with it and hope it doesn't push me over the edge. I have to keep everything locked up inside of me because I have no where to let it all out, and even I did it wouldn't change the fact that everything still goes wrong!

I need some things to start going right very soon otherwise I know I will have a mental break down and just crack.

After years and years of stress and disappointment I can feel the anger and sadness building up inside me. My chest hurts, I'm anxious, I panic, and I already have difficulty breathing properly. If you only knew what I was feeling inside I can guarantee you would almost loose the will to live. I say almost because I'm not there quite yet since I'm still able to manage some kind of hopefulness.

Don't let my smile fool you. Smiling doesn't equal happiness.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Do people not pay attention?

I don't know what it is about people but whenever I'm on a site to ask a question about something, they may or may not answer what I'm asking but making comments that SHOW they didn't read everything I was saying. It's so frustrating! Because it's like they're telling me to do something that I didn't already think of! But I just stated that if I were able to do it I would! What is it about people? I mean this never fails! I guess I do it to myself because I still go on these stupid sites...ugh...yeah I should stop....

An example of what I'm talking about would be, if someone were to read this and comment "well maybe you shouldn't go on those sites anymore" since I basically made a mention of that in the last sentence...


Monday, February 16, 2009


I can't seem to get over how stupid people are when it comes to pregnancies. Teenagers, adults, it doesn't matter they come in all ages. It's like HELLOOOO!?!?! Really? Were you not paying attention in sex ed? Seriously? I don't remember how many times I've heard that condoms, birth control, whatever are NEVER 100% and the ONLY way you will not get pregnant is to NOT HAVE SEX. Yet so many are still so shocked that it happened to them. I mean come on. Are you supposed to be immune to it or something? Wishfull thinking? What is it to make you think it won't happen to you? And yes, having sex once is no different. If you're shocked to find out you're pregnant or that you're going to be a father, then YOU'RE AN IDIOT. If you don't want a baby either stop having sex or get your tubes tied for the girls and snip snip for the guys!