Tuesday, January 27, 2009

My Business (part II)

Well I just thought I should let everyone know (since you were just dying to know. ha!) that I thought of a name! My business IS now called "Uniquely Sass". I will be selling handmade Jewelry, handmade purses, and depending on how my DIY projects go for the wedding maybe even handmade invitations, place cards, programs, etc! YAY! I'm so excited! :D

Here is my website: www.uniquelysass.com

I just started so I don't have much on it yet, hehe :P. In the future I plan on having a much nicer looking site. But for now, this shall do.

To those who personally know me

I want all of you to know that if you hear from ANYONE but myself or Tommy the "reasons" why I don't do this or that, or why I do certain things, don't pay any attention to them. Why? Because for starters who gave them permission to talk negatively about me, and because I don't ever tell people my reasons for doing or not doing something. So these people who do blurt out these "reasons" are just saying what THEY believe to be true. If you want the truth about me, ASK ME. I'm so sick of people saying wrong things about me which makes me look bad.

Monday, January 26, 2009

I just wanted to say...

I love Tommy with all my HEART! :)

Despite anything that goes wrong, he is the one person who can make it all better with a simple "I love you" or a smile. I don't know what I would do without him.

Going backwards

The feeling of hopefulness and happiness I think is officially gone. I'm so frustrated right now with EVERYTHING! I feel exactly like I did a few years ago. It's like I'm going backwards and I just want to scream....

I know this could just be a minor setback, but with how everything goes for ME I really doubt its only temporary. I don't expect life to be perfect, although that would be nice. I just wish I could be HAPPY for a longer period of time, or at the very least be able to deal better. Some people think I'm strong emotionally, but really, it's only because of how much I keep in.

I can't even verbalize how I'm feeling right now, or everything that is getting to me. I feel like I'm going to explode with everything I'm keeping in. I'm depressed, I'm angry, I'm stressed, I'm anxious, I'm panicky, I'm frustrated, I feel like a waste of space, I'm feeling basically every negative feeling known to man. OK maybe not EVERY negative feeling...but you get what I'm trying to say...

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Plan for the future

Since I'm the type of person that likes to think things through and plan for the future, that's exactly what Tommy and I did during the course of our relationship. We discussed kids, money, savings, traveling, a house, cars, etc etc etc. We went over anything and everything, probably more than we really needed to go through.

Now that we're engaged going over those things are only logical. I can't seem to understand though how some engaged couples never discussed a lot of these topics. One I find to be very common is the subject on kids. They find out during the engagement that their future spouse doesn't want kids but they really do. Why was this not discussed BEFORE? Now you have a bigger problem. You love this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them. But you really want kids, always wanted to be a mother/father, would regret not having children, but can't stand the thought of loosing the love of your life. So, you decide to marry them anyways hoping you get over not having kids or hope your significant other changes their mind. More than likely your plan won't work out the way you want and you'll either end up unhappy, or divorced.

People look at me, take notice that I'm young, engaged and assume I don't take it seriously or I'm not ready. Ummm, ok. A few years ago Tommy and I had a discussion with my mom, his parents, and another married person because we were going to get married at the courthouse (long story). They spoke to us about married life, asked us questions, and to their surprise WE ACTUALLY KNEW WHAT WE WERE "GETTING OURSELVES INTO." Even though we were never married before, we still have a good understanding of what to expect because we went over just about every possible situation we would go through in our marriage without anyone talking to us about it first. It just makes sense to sometimes plan for the future, maybe not to the extent that I do, but at least a little before you get yourself so deep into something and realize you're going to sacrifice a lot of what you wanted (things that shouldn't have to be sacrificed).

Monday, January 19, 2009

Getting Married

Growing up I never thought about my "dream wedding", I never cared if I was in a relationship, or when/if I got married. I didn't want to be one of those girls who practically based her life around these normal "wants" and turn them into obsessions. I wasn't going to concern myself over dumb things like that (not saying marriage is dumb), and I certainly wasn't going to become bitter because they never happened for me (if that ended up being the case). That's just pathetic.

If someone gets married before me, good for them. It doesn't matter WHEN you get married, all that matters is if you do get married, that your marriage lasts. Maybe you need to prioritize your life better if marriage is just that important to you.

Monday, January 12, 2009

My business

Since my fiance started up his own business I have been thinking a lot of all the businesses I hope to own someday, or how we could possibly expand his in the future. I'm a big time planner even though I realize things usually don't go according to plan, its just what I do and I have fun thinking about it. Anyways, since the type of businesses I would like to own won't become a reality anytime soon (if ever) I have been thinking about the small "business" I already have, or should I say had?

When I was a freshman in high school I started designing and selling handmade jewelry. It was just something I did on the side for fun. I occasionally held "jewelry parties" and sold my items to anyone interested. Some people I knew even offered to help sell my items to people they knew. I even had "employees" (my cousins who helped "design" new things, which was paid by commission). I kept tack of EVERYTHING and was very organized, which is why I will be dealing with the money and paperwork for Tommy's business. I received a lot of compliments, orders, and was even told a few times I should rent a booth of some sort at a craft fair or sell them online. I always wanted to expand my "business" but never got around to it. Then eventually I just stopped.

Now, I'm thinking of starting it up again and actually making the business official. Business cards, a website, you name it. I want it all and Tommy is all for it and supports me 100%. Even though I'm anxious to start it up again right now, I will be waiting till after we're married when things have "cooled down" and I can devote more time to it.

Now all I need is a catchy name. Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated! :)

Friday, January 9, 2009

A new year: 2009

I have been thinking a lot about everything that's supposed to happen this year and for once I am actually hopeful and excited. The past couple of years have been a bit depressing, so a change would be nice.

2007 was horrible. I personally lost about 13 people in death. THIRTEEN! That's at least 1 funeral a month. I actually lost count because of how often someone I knew passed away. The only positive things were Tommy and I were engaged, I was able to see my best friend, and 2 weddings, 1 from each side of my family. Other than that...it was a horrible year...

2008 was a little better, nothing worth remembering but still better. Had to deal with all the first anniversaries of everyone's death which was difficult. Even now just thinking about it brings me down and gets me chocked up, especially since 1 is coming up in a few days. Only had one funeral last year, so that's a good thing I suppose. Only one, how sad is that. Less than 3 deaths a year is a good year. Wow. Developed my anxiety/panic problem which is obviously not a good thing. I think I've actually been able to figure out what has triggered it. Doesn't help much but at least I know why this is happening. Or at least I think I know. And because of this problem, I've been able to see a few people I know in a different way. I didn't think anything bad about them before but now it's just different. Ever since my "condition" has been made known to those around me, those who also have to deal with it have shown their love, concern, and compassion towards it. It helps knowing that people actually do understand and are there if I need them. So that's a plus. And also, a new baby in my family.

And now 2009. My future sister-in-law and her husband are expecting their second child! I'm very excited about that. Today she found out she's 8 weeks and due August 20Th, just in time for mine and Tommy's 5TH anniversary! A few other people we know are also expecting babies, 1 is due in a few days. Tommy and I are supposed to be getting married about a month after our anniversary, which of course we're really anxious for. A few other couples we know are also getting married this year. Tommy's business has been getting a lot of positive responses, with a lot of jobs needing to be done. So that's all good news.

So things are looking good, then again it is still only the beginning of the year. I feel like once Tommy and I are finally able to get married things will go well. Not that everything will be perfect and we won't have any problems. I know that isn't realistic thinking when it comes to marriage and life in general. But, since we've been together for so long and have to keep waiting to be married, I feel trapped. After the wedding even though I know I'll have to face other challenges, responsibilities, and have a new role in my life (a wife, business owner, future mother), I just see things being different. I'm looking forward to those things, and coming across life's problems. It's hard to explain. Its something you can't fully understand what I'm trying to say unless you're inside my head. All that really matters is I'm excited, I'm hopeful, and I'm becoming happier as time goes on. Hopefully this will be the best year yet. I can't wait.