Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Plan for the future

Since I'm the type of person that likes to think things through and plan for the future, that's exactly what Tommy and I did during the course of our relationship. We discussed kids, money, savings, traveling, a house, cars, etc etc etc. We went over anything and everything, probably more than we really needed to go through.

Now that we're engaged going over those things are only logical. I can't seem to understand though how some engaged couples never discussed a lot of these topics. One I find to be very common is the subject on kids. They find out during the engagement that their future spouse doesn't want kids but they really do. Why was this not discussed BEFORE? Now you have a bigger problem. You love this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them. But you really want kids, always wanted to be a mother/father, would regret not having children, but can't stand the thought of loosing the love of your life. So, you decide to marry them anyways hoping you get over not having kids or hope your significant other changes their mind. More than likely your plan won't work out the way you want and you'll either end up unhappy, or divorced.

People look at me, take notice that I'm young, engaged and assume I don't take it seriously or I'm not ready. Ummm, ok. A few years ago Tommy and I had a discussion with my mom, his parents, and another married person because we were going to get married at the courthouse (long story). They spoke to us about married life, asked us questions, and to their surprise WE ACTUALLY KNEW WHAT WE WERE "GETTING OURSELVES INTO." Even though we were never married before, we still have a good understanding of what to expect because we went over just about every possible situation we would go through in our marriage without anyone talking to us about it first. It just makes sense to sometimes plan for the future, maybe not to the extent that I do, but at least a little before you get yourself so deep into something and realize you're going to sacrifice a lot of what you wanted (things that shouldn't have to be sacrificed).

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