On a daily basis I am forced to deal with severe panic and anxiety. I know most people when they hear anxiety they don't think it's that big of a deal since nowadays, we're all anxious but most still go on with life. But for me and many others its not that easy.
Ever since middle school I have dealt with major stress, which has lead me to have headaches basically everyday. This was over 9 years ago. Now the stress for whatever reason has gotten worse.
In the past few months I have developed an issue with my breathing, which has lead to daily anxiety AND Panic attacks. When I breathe, it feels like my airway is blocked, not allowing myself to take in all the air that I need. So I need to take deeper breaths. But when that happens I get lightheaded and have the sudden urge to cry. I have to do this over and over while trying to hold back tears just to breathe, a function of my body that is supposed to be natural. I have to actually stop everything I am doing to just focus on my breathing until I can finally get that one comforting breath in. This normally goes on for hours at a time, which leaves me exhausted and feeling weak. I fear that I will eventually suffocate and die. Then the panicking comes into play. My hands and face start to go numb, I feel hot and cold at the same time, I feel like I'm going to pass out, my heart is pounding, and so on. Sometimes triggered by nothing at all.
To top it all off, which probably is a reason why I get these attacks, I think TOO much. My mind is constantly racing with thoughts. Literally from the moment I wake up, till the moment I fall asleep my mind is racing. When I'm overly stressed, it races so much that I can't even make out what my own brain is thinking. It's a blur of different images speeding by in my mind. I stress myself out over things I don't even need to be concerned about. I could be watching a TV show where something dramatic happens, and I will put myself in the characters shoes and start to stress as if I have to deal with their fictional problem. I can't even watch something for the entertainment of watching it. I have to analyze everything and point out whats wrong with it. The only good thing about my over thinking is if given a scenario, I can instantly find a way out of it or how to fix it. I'm able to think of things most people would miss and see things in a different perspective (example: putting myself in someone else's shoes).
This is how I describe my head as its racing with thoughts. Go into an electronics store such as Best Buy. Head over to the TV department and take note of all the TVs they have on display. Now imagine the entire store filled with TVs, all of which have a different show/movie on with the sound up. That is my head. All the images and sounds going at once.
You know what else? I don't even know how to relax. Its basically impossible (I know "everything is possible") for me to relax. My body is always tense even when I feel fine.
Its a constant struggle, which makes me feel trapped and helpless. Waiting for the next attack to arrive and having to try to over come it all over again.
Ever since middle school I have dealt with major stress, which has lead me to have headaches basically everyday. This was over 9 years ago. Now the stress for whatever reason has gotten worse.
In the past few months I have developed an issue with my breathing, which has lead to daily anxiety AND Panic attacks. When I breathe, it feels like my airway is blocked, not allowing myself to take in all the air that I need. So I need to take deeper breaths. But when that happens I get lightheaded and have the sudden urge to cry. I have to do this over and over while trying to hold back tears just to breathe, a function of my body that is supposed to be natural. I have to actually stop everything I am doing to just focus on my breathing until I can finally get that one comforting breath in. This normally goes on for hours at a time, which leaves me exhausted and feeling weak. I fear that I will eventually suffocate and die. Then the panicking comes into play. My hands and face start to go numb, I feel hot and cold at the same time, I feel like I'm going to pass out, my heart is pounding, and so on. Sometimes triggered by nothing at all.
To top it all off, which probably is a reason why I get these attacks, I think TOO much. My mind is constantly racing with thoughts. Literally from the moment I wake up, till the moment I fall asleep my mind is racing. When I'm overly stressed, it races so much that I can't even make out what my own brain is thinking. It's a blur of different images speeding by in my mind. I stress myself out over things I don't even need to be concerned about. I could be watching a TV show where something dramatic happens, and I will put myself in the characters shoes and start to stress as if I have to deal with their fictional problem. I can't even watch something for the entertainment of watching it. I have to analyze everything and point out whats wrong with it. The only good thing about my over thinking is if given a scenario, I can instantly find a way out of it or how to fix it. I'm able to think of things most people would miss and see things in a different perspective (example: putting myself in someone else's shoes).
This is how I describe my head as its racing with thoughts. Go into an electronics store such as Best Buy. Head over to the TV department and take note of all the TVs they have on display. Now imagine the entire store filled with TVs, all of which have a different show/movie on with the sound up. That is my head. All the images and sounds going at once.
You know what else? I don't even know how to relax. Its basically impossible (I know "everything is possible") for me to relax. My body is always tense even when I feel fine.
Its a constant struggle, which makes me feel trapped and helpless. Waiting for the next attack to arrive and having to try to over come it all over again.
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